Out of the Darkness

I got just two blocks away from the finish line. And now my legs are starting to shut down. The street is dark but I can hear the crowds roaring.

Unfortunately, I am fading and I am pretty sure that there are less than a few minutes to go before the whole course is shut down.

Out of the darkness, a volunter gets right up in my grill and says, "You have got to move--NOW". I told him that my legs would not work. He says I have four minutes to go and starts o bark out instructions, "Swing your hips----Breathe this way---Do not stop". Clearly this man is a trained professional.

He gets me through one block in a minute and a half.

Now I can see the arch that leads to the finish line. There are massive neon signs lit up. There are huge spotlights on the finish line. The clock is ticking. The crowd roar is huge. I can also hear a countdown going on and I know that they are counting down the closure of the course.

The volunter (Dark Angel) tells me that he is going to leave me at the arch and that I need to make it to the finish line. I pass the arch swining my hips and now the legs are locking up further. They are basically non functional and just 25 yards from the finish I am not sure I can stand up. I realize if I fall that crawling will actually take too long.

Out of knowwhere and with no active higher brain function, I let out a yell. An incredible hulk kind of yell. The kind of yell that is not pre planned and that has no other purpose than survival. This launches me across the finish line. For a second I am not sure that I crossed it but then another volunteer catches me. He is as happy as I am and wants to put me in a wheelchair--I refuse because I know that I will get up again if I sit down now. Out of the corner of me eye I see Lisa and Jody running towards me. I recognize them but cannot but the whole scene together-
I look at the guy and say, "Holy ------- ---t"

Next the aftermath

Run for the Roses

I am actually suprised to make it off the bike. I am very happy to see Lisa and Christopher. So after 112 miles of torture its time to switch to the next part of the plan.

My main focus is on getting through the transition quickly. They send a volunteer to follow you through the whole process. Its in case you need something and also in case you fall over. I was scared to death to bend over and put on socks and shoes since I was convinced that a massive leg cramp was on its way. He was kind enough to oblige and had been doing it all day long.

My first thought was to figure out when the course was going to close. Because of the nature of the start, the course closure time was not fixed. I need to know the closure time to calculate a pace that I will need to finish. I settled on 12:30 am as a closing time so that meant about 15 minutes a mile and I will be able to finish.

I started out walking and had a smile on my face. The first two miles go out and back over a bridge to Indiana and are pretty hot. That part went well and I was able to see Lisa and Christopher twice. I set my watch and would check every mile. The plan was if I dropped below the pace or if my heart rate got too high, I would drop out of the race.

The next part heads through town and then out past Churchill Downs for 6 miles out and 6 miles back.

Trouble begins. My first problem is that I cannot run at all. My heart rate jumps so high and my leg begin to cramp every time I run. But I am keeping a pace just below 15/mile walking and so why ruin a good thing. Worse though, my practiced nutrition plan is not working. I cannot get any food down and so I am going to need a back up plan. In the first loop I settled on water along with PowerBar and pretzels.

The first loop is great, sort of. I talked with a church lady and liked her hat. I settled into a routine. I made it out and back and now had to head for the second loop. Things get rougher though----now its dark, the first loop takes you right next to the finish line and then turns you back (demoralizing)---did I mention it is dark and most of the people are now off the course so it is lonely.

Early on in the second loop I feel like there is a sliver in my shoe. I bend down and take it off but develop a huge cramp and now can barely stand up. So I am hopping around Louisville streets trying to work this out. A volunteer looks me in the eye and says, "Put that shoe on and start runnning." I do what I am told.

Along the walk out I met up with a guy named Kurt who is in the same shape that I am. He , however, can see so we can get the time and splits from his watch. I can do math so I calculate the splits. Now we have a little team. We also settle in to a strategy that has us eating one water, one coke and multiple pretzels at each stop. Believe it or not the volunteers are out in full force, the cops have the course fully controlled and there are still race fans.

Near the turn around we pick up a third guy who specializes in telling crazy stories and so now out team is complete. He also tells me that he trains only an hour on the bike and refuses to run. In addition they are making a documentary about this guy for reasons that were never clear.

Working together we are just barely on track but on track nonetheless. So we move forward, shoulder to shoulder, and the finish line is coming up. At Mile 25 my legs begin to seize--Oh, Oh.

I tell the other guys to go ahead. My right thigh is in fully shutdown. My left calve is out of power and now I am fading. I am kind of stiff leg but moving when I turn the corner with two blocks to go.

Next disaster strikes and a dark angel apears......

The Sun Shines Bright on My Old Kentucky Home

things looked so promising after the swim. I headed off onto the bike and within 20 Miles I knew something was wrong. Work not hard yet but Heart Rate too high and too soon. The first 14 miles are about flat before heading into the rural areas. On my best day I can make it through this section in about 1:05. Today I go there in 1:20 and with a way greater effort.

I am a pretty negative person. So give me a bad situation and I can make it worse. The only thought in my head ,"I am not going to make it" , "How do I drop out?" and , of course, "Does this suit make me look fat?"

Things got worse and around mile 38 I started to write the speech I would give the kids--Sometimes you do not make but you still gotta try, it wasn't my day, the journey not the destination--I even visuilized what room I would do it in and where i would it them. This is not typically recomended as a winning attitude. Only one part of my mental strategy worked--here it is---I normally get one part of a really bad song in my head and then cannot get it out. For instance, a song like "Baby, One More Time." To defeat this, i made a CD pf a bunch of great songs. On race day the song in my head was "Jesus,etc" by Wilco--score one for me.

I saw the family twice as we passed through LaGrange. By the second loop the fear in their faces was obvious. Of course all of the other racers had gone through and now I was passing through town with tumbleweeds. Struggling and struggling.

I got to the last 33 miles which is a straight shot back to Louisville. Now the challeneges are multiplying--Heat rising, two stops have run out of water (and the Baptist churches running the spots are unable to summon miracles), riders are literally lying in ditches on both sides of the rode ( 9.5 % of folks would not finish the race).

I am planning what happens when I get plucked from the race since you have to be off the bike by a certain time or they pull you. A slightly strange thing then happened--I hit the easier part of the course and started to make a little time.

Now i am pedaling faster and trying to make some hay. I head back into to Louisville along the river. Now I am faced with the cruel reality that no force is going to pluck me from the race--They will let me continue--I hate a choice like this. Lisa and the kids are glad to see me and are now fully aware of the bad position we are in. Frankly, they are suprised I am not returning in a medical van

Run?????

The Swim Starts or "Fatman Begins"

I got in the water just before 7:30 and early on knew that it was going to be a great swim. We start by going upstream for about a mile in this somewhat protected area. The water temp was 83 degrees , so no wetsuits. After three years of struggling with the swim, I could tell that I finally had this beast under control. It only took four years, daily practice and lessons from 5 different instructors, but hey. I made it up to the turnaround marker and then stopped for a few seconds. A number also stopped at that point and i think we were all somewhat shocked that we had mad it this far. So a tiny thirty second party was going on in the middle of the fourth busiest shipping channel in the US. I knew the current was great further out in the river so i tried to get in the middle. At a few points I developed cramps in my foot which were scary and at one point I started to cramp in my thigh--big scare. I was able to work things out and keep moving.

We had to get under two bridges to reach the finish. Even with the current, the bridges seemed to come slowly. I then had to angle for the finish line and account for the current. All of that went well and the whole family was there at the finish.

Off to a great start and ready for the bike.

This is Gonna be Great

My race report begins on the Thursday before the race. I had booked a room at the Galt House which is right on the water. It is also where Hugh Hefner stays with his girlfriends for the Derby so it seemed good enough for me.

The issue is that I had forgotten what kind of room had been booked. Due to availability I could only get a suite. So I walked into the room and my first thought was, "Honey, pack up the kids. We're going on vacation." Let me back up. Training for IM is so time consuming that I felt guilty about all of the problems I caused for my family. You can only do early am workouts up to a point. Once you get out to 8-10 hour workouts you are pretty much useless to anyone. So my original plan was to have the family only see some of the bike on Sunday and then head home. But as soon as I saw the room and the excitement in Louisville, I knew they would have fun at the Galt House. Ok, so it was a huge boost to me as well.

We follow the motto, "Semper Gumby" (always flexible), so Gerri got on board and the next day I went back and got the whole crew and got them down for the race. But not before I registered and did the practice swim. The practice swim went great and I really knew that I was going to handle the river without problem. The only issue was that my heartrate felt a little high--omnious forshaddowing of trouble music begins to play.

So the crew came down and had fun generally exploring the giant sized hotel.

On race day we had a decision to make. Should I go to the swim start early or late. Due to a complicated quirk of this race, an early start would actually give me a little longer to finish the race but of course would make me more tired. We decided to go with a later start and more sleep. So I got up with what I thought was enough time, but when I got to transition it was clear that I was late. I then got sent in the wrong direction. The next thing I heard was, "Transition closes in 5 minutes."

Time to get to work. Pump the tires, get the food on the bike, arrange the gear--just done in time. Off for the mile walk to the swim start. When I got to the start, the line was huge but I was able to meet up with David and Jody and we settled in about 2/3 of the wy from the front.

Gross alert---My stomach got really active at that point so lets just say that having porta-johns nearby was a lucky thing. I believe the phrase is , "scared ----less."

The Race Report Starts

Ironman was a tremendous experience. I thought I would give you a report in five sections: The three race phases plus reports on on pre and post race. Lots of fun stuff to talk about and too many funny stories to count

Ironman

I am an Official Ironman. The rest of the story is beyond belief. So as soon as the enormous blisters on my feet abate and as soon as my legs begin to funstion again, then I will give you the full story.

I promise it will be worth the read.