External?Internal

I have been trying to be more self directed. To do things based on self satisfaction and not on how other people think. Now I am not talking about self-absorbed, midlife crisis stuff. I am really trying to have a central vision and to follow through on that vision.

So this weekend I felt pretty good about the sprint triathlon. I felt in control of my race and pushed to a reasonable extent. I left the race pretty happy. Then I saw the results sheet. Despite a half year of work I am still at the bottom of the heap. Granted I am more solidly at the bottom of the heap but still.....

Now is that an example of letting externals define things or an old fashioned reality test?