It seemed Like a Good Idea

It seemed like a good idea at the time:

1)I will sign up for Ironman and during training correct my nutritional problems and race at a low weight. Wrong--Should have lost weight before. Now must pay the price

2)I will get my nails trimmed before the race so they do not dig into my toes. Wrong--I called a place that does salon work for men only. I figured they must get a lot of guys in there with the same problem. So I went for my pedicure. I really just wanted my nails trimmed. The whole concept of an endurance race seemed foreign to the girls (more about that later). So I ended up with a true pedicure and a little buffing on the nails. I had to tell them to not take off my callous--I need those little buggers come Sunday night. But wasn't it at least realxing, Tom? NO--for two reasons: 1)I am incapable of relaxing 2)You sit in a slightly elevated chair and the foot person (who is female and about twenty three) leans over in front of your feet and works on them (Please draw a diagram to get the correct angles). She is attired as many young women are. So now I have to figure out how not to look forward or down for 40 minutes lest I become, "The creepy old guy who does the weird races".

3)Hey, let's invade Iraq. They probably have WMD.

4)I will do an Ironman in Lousville not Florida. I mean, "how hilly could it be".

5)I will do an Ironman in Louisville and not Idaho. I mean, "how hot could it be".